I have lived inside a lie, if I am wrong, then why am I so easy to forget?, why has she already escaped me, vanished, away with the northern wind.
My love is not perfect, but it is sincere, it is true, making it impossible for me to escape love so suddenly.
Am I not worthy?, as I sit here in the dark corner of loneliness, I greet an answer that is yes, I am not worthy of love, for I have been denied love, I have been excluded from that life of happiness, and so forever I shall carry this bruce inside my skin, inside my hart.
unfair it seems but that is the path that I shall walk, and show those things which I am left with, scars and good but weak intentions of enlightens.
Why do I feel guilty?, if I know the wrong was made by others. Why do I feel sad?, if this life should have been long lost in the depths of darkness. I ask why?, why am I anxious to return to insanity?, for love?, no, my love is forever lost just like my dreams. Not for love, not for guilt, fore hope, I seek the truth of her intentions, and only her can clear the air for life it self complicates around her.
As I have said, I am far from perfect, but evil?, if I am not, then why am I tormented, why do I feel rapped, cheated, unworthy of the only thing which I was grateful for, love, love?, love!, lost, just like that, the wish of my now broken soul, the infinity of my recovery from such wound that the mere wish of my distraction is not enough, never enough, such depth that the pain has turned unbearable, as a father who sees the unnatural death of his son as a man, this has just felt how his soul was ripped from his body and chewed.
I don't blame her, I never did, the mistake was mine, I left the weakness of my love be blindfold to my eyes, I left my love be all forgiven even of the worst action, and that is my mistake, loving to much. That lead to my long lost loneliness which is back again, the same as in my past path, I am broken, my soul is shattered, the ideal of my life is gone, I am lost again, lost inside a world that I don't belong to, encased inside a world which has lead me to belief love is loss, that love is weakness, a world that taught me how easy love can be taken away, that love is lost white the past of our ancestors, that love can be faked and turned against you, a world that herded me because of love, a world that changed me because of love, a world that left me alone because of love, love, a word that doesn't exist, for me, or for my world, that love y once so beautiful talked about, that love I believed to be real, that love which now is a dead feeling with no meaning with no face.
Time has come for me to regain my path in the dark sidewalks of loneliness as before the light melted my skin, I shall be heartless as I have been shown to be, I shall not be warm anymore, for my soul is dead, as my world, for a world without love is a dead world.
Monday, November 07, 2005
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1 comment:
A good wriring about lost love.. Hope you are feeling more of the sun again now.
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